Recrystallization of Benzoic Acid Outline Essay Sample free essay sample

Purification – physical separation of drosss and byproducts from an impure sample pure substance. *Distillation- for liquid compounds.*Recrystallization- solid compounds Recrystallization– precipitation of a solid cpd. from a concentrated solution in the signifier of crystals through chilling or vaporization -7 stairss:1 ) choosing the appropriate dissolver2 ) fade outing the solute3 ) bleaching the solution4 ) removing suspended solids5 ) crystallising the solute6 ) collection and rinsing the crystals7 ) drying the merchandise– 2 Kinds of Impurities: 1 ) more soluble2 ) less soluble than the chief constituent– impure solid foremost dissolved in an appropriate dissolver when heated – appropriate/ideal solvent = dissolves constituent to be purified when hot ( boiling point ) . = does NOT fade out constituent to be purified when cold= room temp. or 0oC = either dissolves drosss when cold OR does NOT fade out drosss when hot – constituents will so crystallise in its purer signifier as the solution is cooled. Less soluble constituent will crystallise first As the crystals are formed. the right molecules that will suit in the crystal lattice are selected while the incorrect molecules are ignored. We will write a custom essay sample on Recrystallization of Benzoic Acid Outline Essay Sample or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page ensuing in a pure solid – Depends on: 1 ) solubility of the compound 2 ) differences in solubility of the desired solutes A ; drosss dissolved in the dissolver – Common Solvents Used:Solvent| Formula| Polarity| Boiling Pt. ( oC ) |Water| H2O| Very Polar| 100|Ethanol| CH3CH2OH| Polar| 78|Methanol| CH3OH| Polar| 65|dichloromethane| CH2Cl2| Slightly Polar| 40|Diethyl ether| ( CH3CH2 ) 2O| Slightly Polar| 35| IV. Experimental0. 100 g of powdery impure benzoic acid. 1 little piece of boiling bit. and 2 milliliter of distilled H2O were added severally into a vial. While twirling the mixture invariably. it was so heated to boiling until the benzoic acid had dissolved wholly in the H2O. The solution was so cooled by adding a few beads of distilled H2O. A pinch of activated C was added after. Then. the mixture was heated to boiling for a 2nd clip for a few proceedingss until the volume of the mixture had decreased by about 1 milliliters. The hot mixture was so instantly poured into a 5mL disposable syringe ( without the acerate leaf ) with a cotton stopper indoors at the underside of the syringe tubing to move as a filter. The Piston of the syringe was so pressed to coerce the liquid through the filter. roll uping the filtrate into another phial. The hot concentrated solution or filtrate was so cooled to room temperature before sealing the vial and slow-cooling it in an ice bath. The crystals yielded were collected in a pre-weighed filter paper on a 50 milliliter beaker ( as an jury-rigged filter paper support ) . Small increases of ice-cold H2O were added to rinse the phial to acquire the staying crystals. The filter paper incorporating the gathered crystals was so carefully taken out from the filter system. so was folded with the crystals inside. and so pressed in between folded tissue paper to squash out extra H2O. After leting the filter paper and crystals to dry up wholly. the filter paper with the crystals was weighed. The weight of the filter paper entirely was subtracted from the obtained weight to acquire the weight of the yielded crystals. Percent recovery was computed for by spliting the weight of the yielded crystals by the weight of the impure benzoic acid. V. ResultsFrom the 0. 100 g of the impure sample of benzoic acid. 0. 030 g of pure benzoic crystals was yielded. holding a percent recovery of 30 % . VI. DiscussionThe chemical equation for the reaction of benzoic acid with H2O is as follows: C6H5COOH ( aq ) + H2O ( cubic decimeter ) C6H5COO- ( aq ) + H3O+ ( aq ) .It is a reversible reaction allows the dissolved benzoic acid to recrystallize or travel back to its solid signifier as a purer compound. Water= appropriate or ideal dissolver for benzoic acid due to immense solubility difference in H2O. * indissoluble @ low temp 2. 1g of benzoic acid dissolves in 1L of H2O at 10oC * soluble @ high temp 68g of benzoic acid dissolves in 1L of H2O at 95oC The mixture invariably swirled as the mixture was being heated * additions rate of disintegration and information of the system * increasing the interaction between H2O and benzoic acid molecules. *The complete disintegration of benzoic acid led to a clear solution. Boiling chip- induces boiling – added to the mixture while @ ROOM temp– NOT boiling temp– to forestall spilling or boiling over Activated charcoal- used for decolorization– made up of finely separated C atoms w/ great surface country – adsorb the drosss from sol’n ( aka it causes drosss to attach amp ; be trapped onto the wood coal atom’s surface ) . – C atoms excessively BIG to go through thru filter paper minimizes drosss! *NOTE: Excessively much activated C loss of the pure substance. Filter syringe- used to increase pureness to filtrate out activated wood coal A ; other drosss on the cotton stopper Sol’n was filtered quickly to hold every bit small residue of benzoic acid crystals as possible yielded from crystallisation already taking topographic point as the temp. A ; solubility of the benzoic acid was diminishing. Slow chilling in an ice bath- to assist crystals set up in a finer undistorted molecular geometry. excepting drosss from the crys tal formation. In instance crystallisation doesn’t take topographic point while chilling usage SEED CRYSTAL * Its similar construction to the pure crystals will function as â€Å"source code† merely molecules that will suit absolutely in the lattice will crystallise. go forthing out drosss with a different construction. Complete drying of the filter paper and crystals minimize inaccuracy in consequences because the added mass of H2O while weighing affects or increases the % recovery. Formula for per centum recovery was used: % recovery= weight recovered benzoic acid x 100 weight impure benzoic acid VII. Answers to Questions1. List the belongingss of an ideal dissolver to execute the purification of an organic compound by the crystallisation technique. * fade out the solute @ high temperatures or boiling platinum* does NOT fade out solute @ depression or room temp.* either dissolves drosss ( @ room temp ) or NOT fade out them at all ( @ high temp ) so that drosss WON’T crystallize with solute A ; can be therefore removed by filtration. * Inert= should NOT respond with solute or there will be a lesser output of pure crystals due to molecular interaction * volatile so it can be easy removed from the solute crystals. 2. In sublimating by crystallisation from a dissolver. is it advisable to chill the solution easy or quickly? Explain. COOL SLOWLY so that crystals will organize in its most right A ; undistorted molecular geometry. go forthing drosss out from the crystal formation. *Rapid chilling will ensue a greater output in the terminal ( because drosss will hold been included ) . therefore taking to inaccurate consequences. 3. What advantages does H2O hold as a crystallisation dissolver? * non-flammable* safe and non-toxic* used for a broad scope of temperatures* high heat capacity and can fade out different substances * polar. therefore. it can fade out substances. particularly polar 1s. easy. 4. Solubility of benzoic acid in H2O: 0. 21g/ 100mL H2O at 10oC ; 0. 27g/100mL at 18oC ; 2. 75g/ 100mL at 80oC ; 6. 80g/ 100mL at 95oC. Two pupils crystallized 10 g samples of benzoic acid from H2O. the first dissolution benzoic acid at 80oC and filtrating at 10oC. the 2nd fade outing the acid at 95oC and filtrating at 18oC. Calculate the measure of H2O each pupil was required to utilize and the maximal recovery of benzoic acid possible in each instance. STUDENT A @ 80oC 10 g =2. 75 g sten milliliter 100mLx= 363. 636 milliliter H2O@ 10oC y gms = 0. 21 g vitamin D363. 636 milliliter 100mLy= 0. 7636g benzoic acid9. 24g benzoic acid9. 24g benzoic acid 10 g- 0. 7636g= Student B@ 95oC 10 g = 6. 80 g vitamin Dten milliliter 100mLx= 147. 058 milliliter H2O@ 18oC y gms = 0. 27 g vitamin D147. 058mL 100mL9. 60g benzoic acid acid9. 60g benzoic acid acidy= 0. 397 g benzoic acid 10 g- 0. 397g= 5. A Solid ( X ) is soluble in H2O to the extent of 1g per 100g of H2O at room temperature and 10g per 100g of H2O at the boiling point. a. How would you sublimate X from a mixture of 10g of Ten with 0. 1g of dross Y. which is wholly indissoluble in H2O. and 1g of dross Z. holding the same solubility features in H2O as X? Separating Yttrium 1. Dissolve the mixture in 100g H2O and furuncle to 100?C. Everything should fade out except for Y. 2. Cool mixture to room temperature3. Filter. This will divide dross Y from X and dross Z. Separating Z1. Add H2O up to 100mL to the filtrate.2. Heat to boiling ( 100oC )3. Slowly cool to room temp4. Filter the mixture. The filter paper residue= pure X crystals. *Formation of Z is undistinguished because it is merely 1g and has a different crystal construction than X. excepting Z from X’s crystallisation. 90 % or 9g of Ten will be obtained90 % or 9g of Ten will be obtainedB. How much pure Ten could be obtained after one recrystallization from H2O? 10g of X – 1g X dissolved ten 100 % =10 g of X *Solubilities of different solutes are independent of each other. therefore. 1 g of solutes X and Z would fade out at room temperature. c. How much pure Ten could be obtained after one recrystallization from a mixture of 10g of Ten with 9g of Z? * A = 1000g H2O to fade out 10g X @ room temp.A = 1000g H2O to fade out 10g X @ room temp.Ten and Z must be dissolved foremost. Solubilities of X and Z are independent of each other. Solid X. being the larger sum. is used as footing. 10g of X = 1g of TenA g H2O 100g H2O* B= 900g H2O to fade out 9g Z @ room temp.B= 900g H2O to fade out 9g Z @ room temp.Water must so be boiled until 900g of H2O is left to guarantee dross Z won’t dissolve and crystallise with X under room temperature. 9g of Z = 1g of OmegaB g H2O 100g H2O* C= 9g of X dissolved in900g H2O @ room temp. C= 9g of X dissolved in900g H2O @ room temp. Slowly cool the solution to organize X crystals.C g of X = 1g of Ten900g H2O 100g H2O 1 g of X crystallized1 g of X crystallized 10g X- 9g Ten dissolved= d. Based on the consequence obtained. what is suggested about the usage of crystallisation as a purification technique? Using crystallisation to divide and sublimate solid substances is non so efficient because of its heavy dependance on the substance’s solubility. doing it hard to divide substances of the same solubility and of important sums. VIII. Decision Recrystallization. although a common purification technique for its simpleness and utility. is non such an efficient method because it CAN’T: * sublimate non-solids* separate compounds whose constituents ( the chief constituent and dross ) have the same solubility due to recrystallization’s heavy dependance on solubility. particularly when both constituents exist in important sums * wholly sublimate the end-product IX. Mentions â€Å"Crystallization. † University of Colorado. University of Colorado. n. d. Web. 4 Feb. 2013 lt ; hypertext transfer protocol: //orgchem. Colorado. edu/CCCE/frame/images/handbook. pdf gt ; . â€Å"Recrystallization. † Hartnell College. Hartnell College. n. d. Web. 17 Dec.2012. lt ; hypertext transfer protocol: //www. hartnell. edu/faculty/shovde/chem12a/lablecturehandouts/recrystallizationlecture. htm gt ; . â€Å"Recrystallization: a purification technique for solids. † German Jordanian University. German Jordanian University. n. d. Web. 17 Dec. 2012. lt ; World Wide Web. gju. edu. jo/admin/s32files/3-RECR. physician gt ; .

Hrothgars offer essays

Hrothgars offer essays After Beowulf had saved my people from the treacherous monster, Grendel, I really felt that I owed him a lot more than I had offered him. Although I gave him a crown and many other gifts to reconcile for the things he did for Herot, I felt like I owed him the world. I realized one night that I really wanted to offer Beowulf a position in my court. After long thought I realized that no one would be a better vice-king, than Beowulf. So, when I woke up the next morning, I called Beowulf into the Hall where I sat to eat breakfast. I told him of my need to give him more than he had received in consolation and I offered to him the newly founded position of vice-king. Beowulf was honored by my proposal and thanked me profusely for the offer, however he would not accept my invitation. His words were My heart is in fighting off monsters and saving people such as I did yours. If I take on the responsibility of vice-king, I am afraid I wont be able to fight off the monsters of the world, and t hat is what I am good at, and what I love to do. Although I was a little sadden by the refusal, I knew all along that Beowulf doesnt belong behind the throne, but in the battles. Even though Beowulf did not except my offer, we are still very close friends and he promises to visit Herot often. ...

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A Learning Experience Essay Example for Free

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Vergangenheitsbewältigung in The Reader :: Reader

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A Dirty Job Chapter 26

26 ORPHEUS IN THE STORM SEWER Charlie parked the van sideways in the street and ran up the steps of the Buddhist center calling her name. The huge front door was hanging askew by one hinge, the glass broken, and every drawer and cabinet had been opened and the contents scattered, every piece of furniture overturned or broken. â€Å"Audrey!† He heard a voice to the front of the house and ran back out on the porch. â€Å"Audrey?† â€Å"Down here,† she called. â€Å"We're still under the porch.† Charlie ran down the steps and around to the side of the porch. He could see movement behind the lattice. He found a small gate and opened it. Inside, Audrey was crouched with a half-dozen other people and a whole crowd of the squirrel people. He scrambled into the crawl space and took her in his arms. Charlie had tried to keep her on the line during the drive over, but a few blocks away the battery in his phone had died, and he had tried, for those few terrifying moments, to imagine losing her – his future, his hope – after his hope had just been awakened again. He was so relieved he could barely breathe. â€Å"Are they gone?† Audrey asked. â€Å"Yes, I think so. I'm so glad you're all right.† Charlie led them out of the crawl space and back into the house, the squirrel people staying close to the walls and moving quickly so as not to be seen from the street. Charlie felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see Irena Posokovanovich smiling at him. He jumped up a couple of steps and screamed. â€Å"Don't shock me again, I'm a good guy.† â€Å"I know that, Mr. Asher. I was wondering if you'd like me to park your van for you before it gets towed away.† â€Å"Oh yes, that would be nice.† He handed her the keys. â€Å"Thank you.† In the house, Audrey said, â€Å"She just wants to help.† â€Å"She's creepy,† Charlie said, but then he caught what he thought was a look of disapproval rising in Audrey's eyes and he quickly added, â€Å"In a completely sweet way, I mean.† They went directly to the kitchen and stood before the open pantry. â€Å"They got them all,† Audrey said. â€Å"That's why they didn't hurt us – they weren't interested in us.† Charlie was so angry he was having trouble thinking, but without an outlet, he just shook and tried to keep his voice under control. â€Å"They just did the same thing at my store. Something did.† â€Å"There must have been three hundred souls in here,† Audrey said. â€Å"They took Rachel's soul.† Audrey put her arm around his back, but he couldn't respond other than to walk out of the kitchen. â€Å"That's it, Audrey. I'm done.† â€Å"What do you mean, you're done, Charlie? You're scaring me.† â€Å"Ask your squirrel people where I can get into the storm sewer system. Can they tell you that?† â€Å"Probably. But you can't do that.† He wheeled on her and she jumped back. â€Å"I have to do that. Find out, Audrey. Everyone into my van. I want you at my building, where you'll be safe.† They were all gathered in Charlie's living room: Sophie, Audrey, Jane, Cassandra, Lily, Minty Fresh, the undead clients from the Buddhist center, the hellhounds, and fifty or so of the squirrel people. Lily, Jane, and Cassandra were standing on the couch to get away from the squirrel people, who were milling on and around the breakfast bar. â€Å"Nice outfits,† Lily said. â€Å"But ewww.† â€Å"Thank you,† Audrey said. Sophie was standing next to Audrey, looking her up and down as if trying to guess her weight. â€Å"I'm a Jewess,† Sophie said. â€Å"Are you a Jewess?† â€Å"No, I'm a Buddhist,† Audrey said. â€Å"Is that like a shiksa?† â€Å"Yes, I think it is,† said Audrey. â€Å"It's a type of shiksa.† â€Å"Oh, I guess that's okay, then. My puppies are shiksas, too. That's what Mrs. Ling calls them.† â€Å"They're very impressive puppies, too,† Audrey said. â€Å"They want to eat your little guys, but I won't let them, okay?† â€Å"Thank you. That would be nice.† â€Å"Unless you're mean to my daddy. Then they're toast.† â€Å"Of course,† Audrey said. â€Å"Special circumstances.† â€Å"He likes you a lot.† â€Å"I'm glad. I like him a lot.† â€Å"I think you're probably okay.† â€Å"Well, right back at you,† Audrey said. She smiled at the little brunette with the heartbreaking blue eyes and the attitude, and it was all she could do not to scoop her up and hug the bejeezus out of her. Charlie jumped up on the couch next to Jane, Cassandra, and Lily, and then realized as he looked across the room at Minty Fresh that he still didn't stand taller than the Death Merchant, which was a little unnerving. (Minty seemed focused on Lily, which was also a little unnerving.) â€Å"You guys, I'm going to go do something, and I might not come back. Jane, that letter I sent you has all the papers making you Sophie's legal guardian.† â€Å"I'm out of here,† Lily said. â€Å"No,† Charlie said, catching her by the arm. â€Å"I want you here, too. I'm leaving you the business, but with the understanding that a percentage of the profits go to Jane to help with Sophie and will also go into a college fund for her. I know you have your career as a chef, but I trust you and you're good at the business.† Lily looked like she wanted to say something sarcastic, but shrugged and said, â€Å"Sure. I can run your business and cook, too. You do your Death Merchant thing and raise a daughter.† â€Å"Thanks. Jane, you'll get the building, of course, but when Sophie grows up, if she wants to stay in the City, you always have to have an apartment for her.† Jane jumped off the couch. â€Å"Charlie, this is crap, I'm not letting you do anything – â€Å" â€Å"Please. Jane, I've got to go. This is all in writing, I just want you to hear what I wanted in person.† â€Å"Okay,† she said. Charlie hugged his sister, Cassandra, and Lily, then went to the bedroom and gestured for Minty Fresh to follow him. â€Å"Minty, I'm going into the Underworld after the Morrigan – after Rachel's soul, all the souls. It's time.† The big man nodded, gravely. â€Å"I'm right there with you.† â€Å"No, you're not. I need you to stay here and watch over Audrey and Sophie and the others. There are cops outside, but I think their disbelief might make them hesitate if the Morrigan come. You won't do that.† Minty shook his head. â€Å"What chance do you have down there alone? Let me come with you. We'll fight this thing together.† â€Å"I don't think so,† Charlie said. â€Å"I'm blessed or something. The prophecy says, ‘The Luminatus will rise and do battle with the Forces of Darkness in the City of Two Bridges.' It doesn't say, the Luminatus and his trusty sidekick, Minty Fresh.† â€Å"I am not a sidekick.† â€Å"That's what I'm saying,† said Charlie, who wasn't saying that at all. â€Å"I'm saying that I have some sort of protection, but you probably don't. And if I don't come back, you'll need to carry on as a Death Merchant in the City – maybe get the scales tipped back for our side.† Minty Fresh nodded, lowering his gaze to the floor. â€Å"You'll take my Desert Eagles, then, for luck?† He looked up and was grinning. â€Å"I'll take one of them,† Charlie said. Minty Fresh slipped out of his shoulder-holster rig and adjusted the straps until they fit Charlie, then helped him into the harness. â€Å"There are two extra clips in here, under your right arm,† Minty said. â€Å"I hope you don't have to fire it that many times down there or you will be one deaf motherfucker.† â€Å"Thanks,† Charlie said. Minty helped him get his tweed jacket on over the shoulder holster. â€Å"You know, you might be heavily armed, but you still look like an English professor – don't you have some clothes more appropriate for fighting?† â€Å"James Bond always wears a tux,† Charlie said. â€Å"Yeah, I understand the line between reality and fiction seems a little blurred here lately – â€Å" â€Å"I'm kidding,† Charlie said. â€Å"There are some motocross leathers and pads in the shop that will fit me if I can find them.† â€Å"Good.† Minty patted Charlie's shoulders, like he was trying to make them bigger. â€Å"You see that bitch with the poison claws, you light her up for me, okay?† â€Å"I'll buss a cap in da hoe's ass,† Charlie said. â€Å"Don't do that.† â€Å"Sorry.† The hardest part came a few minutes later. â€Å"Honey, Daddy has to go do something.† â€Å"Are you going to get Mommy?† Charlie was crouched in front of his daughter, and he nearly rolled over backward at the question. She hadn't mentioned her mommy a dozen times in the last two years. â€Å"Why would you say that, honey?† â€Å"I don't know. I was thinking about her.† â€Å"Well, you know that she loved you very much.† â€Å"Yeah.† â€Å"And you know that no matter what, I love you very much.† â€Å"Yeah, you said that yesterday.† â€Å"And I meant it yesterday. But this time, I really do have to go. I have to fight some bad guys, and I might not win.† Sophie's lower lip pushed out like a big wet shelf. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, Charlie chanted in his head. I can't handle it if you cry. â€Å"Don't cry, honey. Everything will be okay.† â€Å"Nooooooooooo,† Sophie wailed. â€Å"I want to go with you. I want to go with you. Don't go, Daddy, I want to go with you.† Charlie held her and looked across the room to his sister, pleading. She came and took Sophie from his arms. â€Å"Noooooo. I want to go with you.† â€Å"You can't go with me, honey.† And Charlie ducked out of the apartment before his heart broke again. Audrey was waiting in the hall with fifty-three squirrel people. â€Å"I'm driving you to the entrance,† she said. â€Å"Don't argue.† â€Å"No,† Charlie said. â€Å"I'm not losing you after just finding you. You stay here.† â€Å"You creep! What gives you the right to be that way. I just found you, too.† â€Å"Yeah, but I'm not much of a find.† â€Å"You're an ass,† she said, and she walked into his arms and kissed him. After a long time, Charlie looked around. The squirrel people were all looking up at them. â€Å"What are they doing here?† â€Å"They're going with you.† â€Å"No. It's too risky.† â€Å"Then it's too risky for you, too. You don't even know what could be down there – this thing that broke into your store wasn't one of the Morrigan.† â€Å"I'm not going to be afraid, Audrey. There might be a hundred different demons, but The Book of the Dead is right, they are only keeping us from our path. I think these things exist for the same reason I was chosen to do this, because of fear. I was afraid to live, so I became Death. Their power is our fear of death. I'm not afraid. And I'm not taking the squirrel people.† â€Å"They know the way. And besides, they're fourteen inches tall, what do they have to live for?† â€Å"Hey,† said a Beefeater guard whose head was the skull of a bobcat. â€Å"Did he say something?† Charlie asked. â€Å"One of my experimental voice boxes.† â€Å"It's a little squeaky.† â€Å"Hey!† â€Å"Sorry, uh, Beef,† Charlie said. The creatures seemed resolute. â€Å"Onward, then!† Charlie ran down the hall so he wouldn't have to say good-bye again. Ten yards behind him marched a small army of nightmare creatures, put together from the parts of a hundred different animals. It just so happened that at the time they were reaching the staircase, Mrs. Ling came downstairs to see what all the commotion had been about, and the entire army stopped in the stairway and looked up at her. Mrs. Ling was, and had always been, a Buddhist, and so she was a firm believer in the concept of karma, and that those lessons you did not learn would continually be presented to you until you learned them, or your soul could never evolve to the next level. That afternoon, as the Forces of Light were about to engage the Forces of Darkness for dominion over the world, Mrs. Ling, staring into the blank eyes of the squirrel people, had her own epiphany, and she never again ate meat, of any kind. Her first act of atonement was an offering to those she felt she had wronged. â€Å"You want snack?† she said. But the squirrel people marched on. The Emperor saw the van pull up near the creek and a man in bright yellow motorcycle leathers climb out. The man reached back into the van and grabbed what looked like a shoulder holster with a sledgehammer in it, and slipped into the harness. If the context hadn't been so bizarre, the Emperor could have sworn it was his friend Charlie Asher, from the secondhand shop in North Beach, but Charlie? Here? With a gun? No. Lazarus, who was not so dependent on his eyes for recognition, barked a greeting. The man turned to them and waved. It was Charlie. He walked down to the creekbank across from them. â€Å"Your Majesty,† Charlie said. â€Å"You seem upset, Charlie. Is something wrong?† â€Å"No, no, I'm okay, I just had to take directions from a mute beaver in a fez to get here, it's unsettling.† â€Å"Well, I can see how it would be,† said the Emperor. â€Å"Nice ensemble, though, the leathers and the pistol. Not your usual sartorial splendor.† â€Å"Well, no. I'm on a bit of a mission. Going to go into that culvert, find my way into the Underworld, and do battle with the Forces of Darkness.† â€Å"Good for you. Good for you. Forces of Darkness seem to be on the rise in my city lately.† â€Å"You noticed, then?† The Emperor hung his head. â€Å"Yes, I'm afraid we've lost one of our troops to the fiends.† â€Å"Bummer?† â€Å"He went into a storm sewer days ago, and hasn't come out.† â€Å"I'm sorry, sir.† â€Å"Would you look for him, Charlie? Please. Bring him out.† â€Å"Your Majesty, I'm not sure that I'm coming back myself, but I promise, if I find him, I'll try to bring him out. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to open this van and I don't want you to be alarmed by what you see, but I want to get into the pipe while there's still some light from the grates. What you see coming out of the van – they're friends.† â€Å"Carry on,† said the Emperor. Charlie slid the door open and the squirrel people hopped, scampered, and scooted down the bank of the creek toward the culvert. Charlie reached into the van, took out his sword-cane and flashlight, and butt-bumped the door shut. Lazarus whimpered and looked at the Emperor as if someone who was able to talk should say something. â€Å"Good luck, then, valiant Charlie,† said the Emperor. â€Å"You go forth with all of us in your heart, and you in ours.† â€Å"You'll watch the van?† â€Å"Until the Golden Gate crumbles to dust, my friend,† said the Emperor. And so Charlie Asher, in the service of life and light and all sentient beings, and in hope of rescuing the soul of the love of his life, led an army of fourteen-inch-tall bundles of animal bits, armed with everything from knitting needles to a spork, into the storm sewers of San Francisco. They slogged on for hours – sometimes the pipes became narrow enough that Charlie had to crawl on his hands and knees, other times they opened into wide junctions like concrete rooms. He helped the squirrel people climb to higher pipes. He'd found a lightweight construction helmet fitted with an LED headlamp, which came in handy in narrow passages where he couldn't aim the flashlight. He was also bumping his head about ten times an hour, and although the helmet protected him from injury, he'd developed a throbbing headache. His leathers – not really leathers, but more heavy nylon with Lexan pads at the knees, shoulders, elbows, shins, and forearms – were protecting him from bumps and abrasions on the pipes, but they were soaked and rubbing him raw at the backs of his knees. At an open junction with a grate at the top he climbed the ladder and tried to get a look at the neighborhood to perhaps get a sense of where they were, but it had gotten dark out since they s tarted and the grate was under a parked car. What irony, that he would finally summon his courage and charge into the breach, only to end up lost and stuck in the breach. A human misfire. â€Å"Where the hell are we?† he said. â€Å"No idea,† said the bobcat guy, the one who could talk. The little Beefeater was disturbing to watch when he spoke, since he really didn't have a face, only a skull, and he spoke without ever making the P sound. Also, instead of a halberd, which Charlie thought should have come with the costume for authenticity, the bobcat had armed himself with a spork. â€Å"Can you ask the others if they know where we are?† â€Å"Okay.† He turned to the damp gallery of squirrel people. â€Å"Hey, anybody know where we are?† They all shook their heads, looking from one to another, shrugging. Nope. â€Å"No,† said the bobcat. â€Å"Well, I could have done that,† Charlie said. â€Å"Why don't you? It's your _arty,† he said. Charlie realized he meant â€Å"party.† â€Å"Why no Ps?† Charlie asked. â€Å"No li_s.† â€Å"Right, lips. Sorry. What are you going to do with that spork?† â€Å"Well, when we find some bad guys, I'm going to s_ork the fuck out of them.† â€Å"Excellent. You're my lieutenant.† â€Å"Because of the s_ork?† â€Å"No, because you can talk. What's your name?† â€Å"Bob.† â€Å"No really.† â€Å"Really. It's Bob.† â€Å"So I suppose your last name is Cat.† â€Å"Wilson.† â€Å"Just checking. Sorry.† â€Å"‘S okay.† â€Å"Do you remember who you were in your last life?† â€Å"I remember a little. I think I was an accountant.† â€Å"So, no military experience?† â€Å"You need some bodies counted, I'm your man, er, thing.† â€Å"Swell. Does anyone here remember if they used to be a soldier, or a ninja or anything? Extra credit for ninjas or a Viking or something. Weren't any of you like Attila the Hun or Captain Horatio Hornblower in a former life or something?† A ferret in a sequined minidress and go-go boots came forward, paw raised. â€Å"You were a naval commander?† The ferret appeared to whisper into Bob's hat (since Bob no longer had ears). â€Å"She says no, she misunderstood, she thought you meant horn blower.† â€Å"She was a prostitute?† â€Å"Cornet _layer,† said Bob. â€Å"Sorry,† Charlie said. â€Å"It's the boots.† The ferret waved him off in a â€Å"no worries† way, then leaned over and whispered to Bob again. â€Å"What?† Charlie said. â€Å"Nothing,† Bob said. â€Å"Not nothing. I didn't think they could talk.† â€Å"Well, not to you,† said Bob. â€Å"What did she say?† â€Å"She said we're fucked.† â€Å"Well, that's not a very good attitude,† Charlie said, but he was starting to believe the go-go ferret was right, and he leaned back into a semisitting position in the pipe to rest. Bob climbed up to a smaller pipe and sat on the edge, his feet dangling over; water dripped from his little patent-leather shoes, but the floral pattern brass buckles still shone in the light of Charlie's headlamp. â€Å"Nice shoes,† Charlie said. â€Å"Yeah, well, Audrey digs me,† said Bob. Before Charlie could answer, the dog had grabbed Bob from behind and was shaking him like a rag doll. His mighty spork clattered off the pipe and was lost in the water below.